At a very base level, we want and need to feel safe.
We want to feel secure.
This is a natural response.
And when we have been doing things a certain way for a long time, we get comfortable and feel safe…even when what you’re doing isn’t in your best interest.
Essentially we can get into the habit of being comfortable in the uncomfortable.
Now – I am not a big fan of this metaphor, but it’s like a dog on a stone. The dog is sitting on the stone and is uncomfortable – yet doesn’t move. It’s comfortable sitting in the uncomfortable.
Side note: of course, if you are ok with what you are doing and are happy – does what you’re doing need to change? If the answer is a no, then don’t worry about it.
I am sure there are things in your life that you recognise that you need to change.
And that, for a lot of people, is HARD.
It’s easier to sit in the unease than think about creating a path for change.
It’s easier to avoid thinking about what needs to be done or to have conversations that sound a bit like a whinge.
It’s easier to not take the responsibility for your reality.
It’s easier to blame outside of you.
How do I know all of this? Because my friend….I am speaking from personal experience. I did all of this. And more.
For at least a decade or so.
And when I changed my thoughts? I changed everything, and jeez, it was hard. WAY harder than sitting in my uncomfortableness. #reallyflippinhard
I know that it was and is all worth it. I often wish that I’d started earlier…but I do realise that I wasn’t ready.
And you might not be. Yet.
Or you could be if you’re still reading this far.
The choice is yours.
You could take stock of what is happening for you right now. You could take a moment to reflect on what responsibility you need to take. Then you could make a change.
Yes. Just like that.
It’s all a choice.
And guess what? After you make a choice, you will be tested. Or fuck up. Or both.
And that’s the tricky bit. Knowing that you will and need to adjust to this new way of thinking. Behavioural flexibility is what they call it.
What is behavioural flexibility? It is the ability to change our behaviour in response to any given situation.
This will be your superpower when it comes to any type of change.
Also, learn to live with the concept of ‘there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
Worrying about failing and changing…? That’s a lot, hey? So focus on gaining feedback throughout this.
In my next blog, I will go over how to fail fast. This will allow you to move faster through this process of change.
In the meantime, if you have any comments or questions, just ask.