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Selfish is the new black

With Emma Queen

Selfish is the new black

#selfishisthenewblack
 
Definition of selfish:
 
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterised by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.
 
Hearing the word itself – what do you feel?
 
Guilt, negativity, sadness? What else?
 
Do you feel happy, certain or ok with the word?
 
What if being selfish was the new black? That you cared for yourself FIRST, then others? What could happen? What wouldn’t happen? Ask yourself these questions people… because long gone are the days where we (especially mums) leave ourselves to last. Because when we do that – there is often nothing left for others.
 
This topic has been coming up with me for a few years now, and with current clients. So I thought I’d research what others thought. And here’s what I found:
 
* Sometimes it’s selfless to be selfish. If you completely neglect your own needs and drain yourself dry, there will be no you left to focus on the needs of others. It is selfless to make sure you get enough rest, for instance. It’s easier to be selfless when you are rested, healthy, fit and well fed.
* Sometimes it’s seemingly selfish to be selfless. In focusing on the needs of many others, you might have to neglect the needs of a few. The few who are neglected might selfishly accuse you of being selfish. As long as your actions were focused on helping others, this is not true. The ones who accuse you of being selfish are actually the ones who are selfish as they are the ones who are concerned about their own needs.
* It’s selfless to forgive people for calling you selfish. After all they can’t learn how to be selfless unless they have role models like you to emulate. Also, as I mentioned, they are scared. If you respond to their show of selfishness with selflessness, you will show them what true courage looks like.
 
*mind blown* on some levels yes?
 
So where do you stand? What are you doing? Being selfish? Or selfless? Or both? What are you struggling with? I’d love to know my friend.
 
I am thinking of creating a new uprising on this issue. Stay tuned for that one my dears. #selfishisthenewblack
 
Chat soon
 
Emma xx
 
p.s You need a hand? Remember I am a coach and mentor… yell out x