The bullsh*t of balance
You know those kind of dreams that you feel like you are trying to get to a destination? Yet you can’t seem to get there? Or that you are trying to get to something before it happens? Like you are running out of time? The dream where you feel like you are constantly ‘searching’ for that thing? That person?
That feeling you get during the dream, of the pressure.
Of the ‘push’.
Of the constant trying.
Yes. That feeling. You know it. It’s almost familiar, huh?
Then you wake up exhausted. Like you were running on a treadmill, but not getting anywhere fast.
This is what the search for ‘balance’ is like.
Balance in your life.
In your family’s life.
In your work and personal life.
The constant ‘search’.
I’m tired even writing about it. I am tired of people talking about this search for balance in our lives.
Why? Because the whole thing is utter BULLSH*T.
I’ll repeat that for the dummies.
The search for balance in your life is BULLSH*T!
The quest for balance in our lives is futile.
You will NEVER get there (or if you do, it won’t last).
Okay – putting it simply. It doesn’t exist.
What does exist, then? I know you are asking this… because you want ‘something’. You want to aim for a thing, yes?
Integration my friend.
This is what is real. This is what happens and we don’t exhaust ourselves reaching for it.
The parts of our lives integrate into each other.
Searching for the work/life balance is BS because on that holiday to Fiji…are you really going to be working from your sun lounger? Probs not.
Searching for the work/family balance is BS as when you’re hanging with your kid, it’s unlikely that your boss will be watching.
*Note: I am excluding self-employed peeps from these examples as I would probs work from my laptop on the sun lounger, because that’s my version of integration.
And that’s part of my point. My version of work/life integration is different to yours. And yours is different to your neighbours. But essentially, striving for a ‘balance’ is crap and will only set you up for failure. Then you will feel guilty, overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, tired or confused. Or other emotions (and rightly so!).
What I do know is that searching for the balance will mean heartache somewhere along the line. If not now, later down the track for sure.
So what to do?
First up – let go of the BS belief that creating balance in your life is a goal of yours. And when I say ‘let go’, really do. Don’t pretend for a week or a month. Actually and consciously LET THAT SH*T GO! Yes this could take some work (effort really) on your part but is sooooo worth it! Look at it this way, wouldn’t you rather work on this bit to let go of the other sh*t?
Then work out what you really want.
When was the last time you sat down and decided that you would take control of your life (other than the other way round)? Do you even know what you want in life?
I’ll give you a hint if you don’t know or can’t remember – it has either been too long since you thought about it, or you have let others make decisions for you. #hardtruths
Lastly – go get it! Get what you want in your life. Feel like you have no choice? Make a choice to get choice. This list is endless and if you are interested, I wrote a book about it… #shamelessplug. But seriously, man (thanks John McEnroe)! Make the steps to create your work/life integration. Today. Right now.
Offer: When I read blog posts and something goes ‘ping’ in my brain/gut/heart I know that I need to do something about it. This ‘ping’ is your body saying ‘Sh*t yes! This is YOU’.
Did this happen when you read this?
If it did and you are not willing to make awesome changes in your life, close the browser NOW! If it did and you are still reading….then you know I can help. So I will.
I will get you achieving your work/life integration. I will get you get clear on what you need to do too. You may not only (potentially) change your life, but also realise what you can actually achieve.
I am taking just 4 people on this journey over the next 3 weeks. You get 1:1 access to me (daily if required) and its a steal at just $349AUD.
It really is a JFDI moment. Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org today to lock your spot in.