I wrote those words above. Then actually resisted writing further.
The pull in my chest as I think how much I have resisted sitting down and writing about it – is resistance again.
The physical discomfort is real.
The wanting to run away is real.
The feeling of despondence is real.
Yet. It’s also not.
This is all a story. A story I tell myself – and you do too.
And I think this is where the resistance kicks in; the mind knows it’s a real feeling…yet it’s a fabricated story too, kinda like putting your foot on the brake and the accelerator at the same time.
That push/pull. Then, of course, there is only strain and ultimately no movement. Just pressure.
So what’s the solution?
What resists persists.
Yes, keep resisting, and it will keep going.
LET IT GO.
Actually, what I tell myself is ‘Let the fuck go’, and you can borrow this if you so, please.
And do you know what is interesting? The moment I let it go, the pressure releases. Just like a balloon. The relief is nearly instant.
And if I choose not to do this? I ask myself a different question; ‘Why am I choosing to stay in this behaviour?’ and no doubt a heap of stuff comes up, and in the end, I have zero choice but to let it go. Why? Because it doesn’t serve me.
I decided long ago that I would only do what serves me.
But this wasn’t how I used to feel. I used to do things and not know why. I wouldn’t even consider what choices I was making and just kept going. In fact, I would go as far as to say that I didn’t know I had a choice.
So I changed that belief. I chose to believe that I did have choice. That I could decide how to feel and that no one else ‘made’ me feel a particular way. #revelation
So my friend, what are you resisting?